I AM. . . .

As per my friend BA's instructions. I have made my own list. Of course, she is on a wonderful vacation so she will never even get to see it.
I am...Summer O' Scarlet (drama is built into my name)
1 think...I am pretty good mom.
I know.... I worry about too many things I don't have control over
I have...too many bathrooms to keep clean.
I wish...I could could stop drinking Dr Pepper
I dislike...standing in lines.
I miss...my mommy.
I fear...EVERYTHING. Nothing is safe and that really scares me.
I hear...the sound of my husband and son trying to figure out what the girls that keep texting Zach mean. (good, luck, they're girls)
I smell...cookies-the wonderful smell of rain.
I crave...a Kneaders sandwich on French country bread with extra pickles..
I write...lots of instructions, lists, grocery lists.
I win...games. I am almost unbeatable.
I lose...my sanity. I never know when to say no.
I don't understand...how people keep their pantry organized and still let their kids get their own snacks..
I can usually be found...on my computer, in the kitchen, or at the pool
I forget...that I am on a budget and eat out way to much.
I usually...overextend myself but am depressed if I have nothing to do.
I search...the obituaries to make sure I'm not in them.
I wonder...when the end of the world will come and if I will have enough chocolate.
I regret...not seeing my dad very much.
I love...my family
I care...about my loved ones.
I always...say my prayers for the safety of my kids.
I worry...that I won't be able to provide for my family.
I am not...happy about my current body configuration
I remember...how it felt to be the most important person in someone's life.
I believe...that everything happens according to God's plan.
I dance... in the car to embarrass my kids and while I'm cleaning the house.
I don't always...remember to use my coupons I clipped.
I never...let my kids out of my sight without saying “I love you”
I listen...to my kids talk A LOT
I am scared about...the economy
I need...more energy.
I am happy about...how wonderful my life is. I may spend half the time freaking out about things that are out of my control but the other half is spent being thankful for what I have.

Helicopter Parent Crash and Burn

I am a self professed, recovering helicopter parent and I am having a relapse. I have always prided myself of always being there to pick up the pieces when something went wrong for my children. I was never the mom standing at the classroom door with the homework assignment that was forgotten, I figured they should learn to be responsible and to live with consequences. I have never had a problem admitting when my kids made a mistake and most certainly never try to bail them out when they do something wrong but the one area that I tend to hover is when it comes to their feelings. For those of you who have read the last of the Twilight you'll understand when I saw I 100% relate to the passion in that book. (I won't ruin it for those of you who haven't read it you'll just have to imagine) I am a mother bear ready to attack. I come by it naturally. My mom once attempted to jump the counter of my junior high when a teacher had attacked my credibility. She was a spunky little lady. I find myself trying really hard to breathe deeply count to ten and sing a happy song but sometimes it is so hard. My husband's solution is always along the line of buying a pony and prancing up and down the street on it with a sign that says "I have a pony and you don't". Are there any of you out there who have wisdom you can share? How do I let the pain and trauma of childhood go and let my children deal with it on their own?

Week at a glance

1.Survived the last of the 4 birthdays we have in our house in 5 weeks.

2. Hosted a neighborhood block party

3. Trying to home school the three younger ones

4. Registered Zach for high school and completely scared the crap out of the counselor when I refused to do placement testing for Zach and informed him that while I respect his degree I know my son better and will decide what he needs and that I have already spoken with the former dean of admissions at a local school (our neighbor) and that I would be deciding which classes were necessary.

5. Bailey received a random nude photo on her phone from some guy we don't know and so the police are investigating it despite their desire not to. I had to pull out the Summer card on that one. I explained that they would need to do their best to prove intent and at the very least they were to completely humiliate the dude. I told them I was not known for my patience and that if a detective was not in touch with me within the week I would be following up on my own.
6. I was roped into being the Student/parent liaison at the high school in charge of student activities, namely dances. I promised Zachary I would not hover or hang out with him since I am way too cool to hang with him and his friends.

7. I had to spend an hour yesterday with the FSO as they tried to figure out how to handle registration. I was asked if I could help and replied with a I said "HECK NO" and left to get an ice cream cone.

8. Long day at the zoo for Kaitlyn's birthday followed by swimming which ended with Zachary throwing me into the pool. I am currently taking names of individuals willing to help get him back.

9. Attended an FSO dinner and met all kinds of wonderful people who will be working with me on the committees at the school.

10. Bought my favorite Little Debbie Brownies for $1.00 a box (definitely the highlight)

this disappeared yesterday

I put this up yesterday and it was just gone. I found it on a different blog later. Weird stuff. This is always a fun day because it is Kaitlyn's birthday (big 9). She has been 13 in my mind for a long line so I guess it is good that her physical age is getting closer to her mental age. We knew she was extra special when she was born, especially since she had a gill. She was born on her Uncle Shad'O's birthday making her even more amazing.(HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAD'O). We are heading for the zoo. Since she doesn't like cake or frosting we are having banana bread in the shape of Winnie the Pooh.

U of U Rocks!

I grew up wanting to go to the U of U because my great uncle who I thought was the smartest person in the world was a fan. I assumed I would live with him in his beautiful home in the Avenues and drive my emerald green mustang convertible with the white leather interior to my pre law classes every day. Since I never had that car and I graduated from SUU instead I guess you can say I still hold that dream a bit closer than I should. Bailey was invited by my friend Jenna to go to a volleyball clinic with her hosted by the Utes. I of course had to go too since I couldn't possibly let my daughter on campus without me close by to save her from all those college guys. She had an amazing time and when they asked for someone to try to block the 6'5 girl player Bailey volunteered. I was frozen with fear as I saw my tiny, petite little girl standing opposite the net of this amazon woman! I think the player was a bit nervous too. I saw her looking at her coach and then at the other girls in attendance that didn't look like they'd break if you looked at them wrong but she spiked the ball anyway. Bailey didn't block a single shot but she sure had fun trying. After hours of sitting on a hard bench watching her try to compete with the big girls I was thrilled to hear her say, "I think I'll go to the U for college. I guess my subtle indoctrination of wearing my red shirt, red shoes and red shirt today paid off.

Primary Children's

Kaitlyn had her appointment at Primary Children's yesterday just a day after her visit to her endocrinologist went less then perfect. She needed to have an ultrasound done to take a better look at her thyroid that was vastly different than it was six months ago and to assess if it was necessary to radiate or kill it. I was surprised that they got us in within 24 hours and that the radiologist actually met us in the exam room to go over results. "The good news" he said, "is that there isn't a tumor". What, was that a concern this time?! I guess the Dr didn't want me to have a sleepless night and left it as a "precautionary study". He said she is perfectly normal for someone with a diseased thyroid. I guess that should be comforting but the word "diseased" is always a bit unsettling. They ran some blood tests that will determine if they need to remove it, destroy it or wait and watch a bit longer. They would prefer to keep it working as is but since her weight isn't improving and her hair is still thinning they may need to be a bit more proactive. She feels great, looks great and will probably end up plugging along just fine. We went to lunch afterward(her favorite, Olive Garden) and she got a new outfit for her birthday next week. It is kind of hard to find pants that fit that child with her long legs and lack of butt.

Is it bedtime yet?

The day started with a splash. Jacob announced that he "didn't smell good" and wanted a shower. We got him smelling like coconut and dressed in his favorite red shirt and I sent him to get a comb for his hair. He came to the front room completely soaked with Cherry Dr Pepper (yes, I know I shouldn't be drinking that at 7:30 a.m.). He looked me square in the eye and said, "your drink made me messy". He had cleaned it up with the nice clean towels I had just folded in the bathroom. Then Zach announced that he found a black widow in the garage which meant I had to take action to protect my family. I later discovered it wasn't a black widow but an innocent victim but at that point it was much more humane to put it out of its misery. I ended up spraying the entire house while shaking in fear that there may be a snake hiding in the window wells. Then because someone had mentioned seeing a mouse in their garage a neighborhood over I decided to make sure we wouldn't be invaded. That meant 4 hours of cleaning, organizing, sweeping and a trip to the dump. Of course since I had made Bailey's skirt for her little date the other day I had a gigantic mess in my office and guest room. When I make a mess I do a great job. Then a child mentioned to me that they didn't have any clothes and how is that possible when they had brought them to the laundry room this morning. I looked at them with a puzzled expression and thought, "how did this happen, how does this child stand in front of me and assume that I will wash their clothes the very minute they bring them to me?" I did throw a load in, not those however, I washed towels, again. They can figure out a solution to their dilemma tomorrow. After a much needed shower I let the kids go out to ride scooters and bikes which as far as I'm concerned is those are simply a little less dangerous than riding a motorcycles or running with scissors. Zach was laughing at his little brother who was wearing his helmet to ride his little scooter in the driveway, and complaining about how dorky helmets were (while putting his on) and took off on his bike. I heard a screech, a gasp and looked in time to see him flying through the air, make a complete flip and land on his head. Fortunately it was a single bike accident and no other vehicles were involved. He laughed it off and wiped the blood off with his hand and said, "I bet I looked pretty stupid, good thing I had a helmet". I think I'll go to bed and pray that my children will always follow my advice and rules no matter how "dorky" or "stupid" it may seem.

Say hello to Sandy

Bailey looks like she belongs in Grease. She can't stop jumping up and down because she is itching to go to a sock hop. I think perhaps I'll make Kaitlyn and I skirts and we can be Pink Ladies together!!!! Her dad will kill me for telling you all, but they had to have their dads paint their nails at the daddy daughter thing.

Where Have I Been?

It seems like only yesterday since I sat at my laptop composing brilliant words of wisdom, but it appears as though it has been a while. Unfortunately I haven't been at the beach soaking in the sun or on a cruise, or even camping in the woods. Instead I have been trying to fit 28 hours into a 24 hour day. So, the highlights are as follows:
1.TK "made" me read the Twilight Series which has me hooked in a way that I didn't think possible. She bought the series and left it here for me to read. I am 400 pages into book three (I started reading number 1 on Tuesday). I dream of vampires and werewolves and night with an odd kind of peace that I find unsettling during the day.
2. I have been subjected to over six hours of Chuck Norris movies for my husband's birthday because he is the most amazing fighter in the history of the world. "There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun".
3. I had to make a costume for Bailey for a daddy and daughter date.
4. We have been at the pool a lot before weather turns cold.
5. My family had another summertime cold so we've been hiding and pouting
6. Zach was ordained as a teacher (sob, sob)
7. I have been to IceBerg so many times that I had to loosen the drawstrings on my sweats.
8. I have been planning Kaitlyn's birthday which is next week.
9. I have been chaperoning my son's ever booming social life which leaves me hiding on the front porch pretending to water the dead flowers just so I can keep an eye on him.
10. HOME SCHOOL


It doesn't seem like much but somehow I seem to feel a bit overwhelmed and yet so incredibly blessed to have the opportunity I have to enjoy it all. Once I know how things are resolved with Bella and Edward I'm sure I'll be back.

Who Knew?

Who knew I was so competitive? Okay, anyone who has ever watched ME watch my children play sports, or who has played a game with me or who has watched the Olympics with me. Today since we're all sick we laid around and watched the Olympics and regardless of the sport I found myself screaming at the tv. My husband who was home sick has apparently never seen a crazy blond woman yelling at strangers on the screen to spike the ball or stab someone with the sword (I don't know the proper fencing lingo). Zach who doesn't have much of a competitive streak just shakes his head with amazement but Bailey joined in on the fun. My favorite was when China won a race and Jacob yelled out, "China!!!! I hate China!!!!!" Apparently he has strong loyalty to the red, white and blue. My dad used to do this. I would watch in amazement as he seemed to transform into a mad man watching BYU football or basketball. He'd pace the room, pull his hair, mutter to himself and even throw an expletive or two into the air. I video taped him once knowing for sure I would win the 100,000 on AFV. I never submitted it, I decided to sit on it for my retirement. I guess it is hereditary so I apologize know to my grandchildren who will no doubt find themselves banned from the sidelines of all major sporting events.

My Mom

I talk about her all the time but so many of you never had the pleasure of meeting the most amazing woman ever. I still find myself reaching for the phone to hear her voice or to share a cute story about my kids with her because only my mom would truly understand how funny it is. When I find myself down I long to feel her unconditional love that only a mother seems to have. I miss having someone think that I am the most beautiful, most talented person to ever walk the Earth. I feel somewhat silly missing her this much 6 years after she's died but it still aches with the same intensity of the day we said good-bye. I think that that hurt is in part why I hug my kids a little bit longer than some, or worry a bit more when they walk out of the protective barrier of my arms. I long for the day that we are reunited and my sweet children get to see just how wonderful she is.

another fun story about my youth

check out my friends blog and our adventure camping alone in the woods at 16. It involves deadly reptiles, rabid animals and scary dudes!!!
http://theboysquad.blogspot.com/

More Birthday Trauma!

I wanted this picture to be last but Kaitlyn hasn't taught me how to do that yet!!!!!

Age 1


Age 10

My sweet little boy who was born into this world against all odds is turning 14! I don't think I've cried over it like I did with Jacob because everyone always assumes he's 15 or 16 anyway so 14 seems like an okay number in comparison.

From the time he was welcomed into this world he has been smiling. He would laugh at the word cheese and crawl to the edge of the bed and dive not knowing if anyone would be there to catch him.

He has an amazing spirit and oozes personality. He makes friends everywhere he goes (usually girls) and loves to have parties at our house.

Not a day goes by that I don't find myself laughing at his sarcastic comments and humorous musings. As I was driving back from the store getting all the stuff for his candy gram I was struck with the immense love I feel for him. I would clone him if at all possible.

Happy birthday my sweet Zach. I love you!!!

Today I got to see my new little nephew and he is so cute. He belongs to my husbands younger brother and I must say, he is definitely a keeper. We went to dinner at a Brazilian grille where they walk around with various meat dishes on skewers and serve them to you. They brought 18 different dishes and chicken hearts but we of course turned our noses up at that. They had the most delicious grilled pineapple glazed in brown sugar. If any of you have tips on how to make that I want them. By the time we were finished we were rolled out the door. I didn't think we'd ever eat again but Zach downed a huge ice cream sundae with some friends an hour later and the girls had a little party with some friends and empty the entire shelf of snacks we bought today. Sometimes being the mom of teens is tiring (and expensive).

Ultimate Power

Tonight I was invited to participate in the Citizens Academy. Imagine me, armed and ready to shoot. I would get to work with the police dogs and wear the fun suit with padding, I would learn how to handle semi automatic weapons and how to take down criminals. I would get to go on ride alongs and watch them take down suspected gang members (That can't be too exciting in my tiny little town). I would run the paintball course and I am an amazing paintball person. I would learn all about different narcotics and how to discover is someone is on them. It is so exciting!!!! But, alas, I am pretty sure my Dr. is not going to sign the forms so it is all a pipe dream. But for one brief moment I had my fingers on the trigger of ultimate power. Plus, my husband has informed me that he doesn't think it is a good idea for me to be armed, something about me being a hot head.

Walabis

Who would have thought that at the Salt Lake County Fair you could hold kangaroos and walabis? The kids were so excited that I had to pay the $10 photo fee. Then I of course took my own! Of course we had to finish the day with an ice cream at the newly opened Iceberg down the street.

I Love my Job

Zach was hired to break up cement and do some general labor at a neighbors house today. He came home asking for a sledge hammer which made my hair stand on end and me running to see what exactly he was hired to do. He was doing a great job but I could see that it was a lot more work than everyone originally thought and there would be no way he'd be done before the people came home. To make a very long story short, I stayed and joined in on the cement breaking, hauling, weeding, and over all manual labor. After the first time I found my hand stuck between a cement brick and a hammer I started to wonder exactly why I was doing this. It occurred to me that while I was exhausted, dirty and bleeding I was thoroughly enjoying my time with Zach. Working side by side with him is always such a great chance to bond. I love to hear his insights into life and his laugh when he sees me struggle to get dirt out of my hair. I love the way he says "thanks mom, I sure appreciate you helping me." I love how he tells me what a great mom I am and how he bets his friends wishes their moms were there for them as much as I am for him. When we finished I was almost sad because I realized that before long he won't need me to help him in a neighbors yard or to figure out a math problem. He won't come to me any longer when he has questions about friends or choices they're making. He'll be on his own and will be making his own decisions. I guess I can only hope that the hours I spend with him sweating side by side will pay off and that he'll be prepared for life without me.

And so it begins

We started k12 today.I thought I'd share how we really look when doing as opposed to the fairy tale version I have in my head.
My work area which seems to have been taken over by the laptops for kids to work on as well. I guess I'll "work" when they graduate!!

the girls always end up on a floor somewhere doing their work. Today it was my office. Their school stuff is in the cubes behind them.
Tired of the noise Zach retreated to the guest room and my sewing table to review his math. What a good kid, he isn't even in school yet.
Jacob is working on his kindergarten game in our lovely computer area. We need a new set up!

These are all the boxes we unpacked.