Reflections of a Mother

I sat in the back row of the chapel after having gotten up extra early to make sure that everyone's hair was perfectly combed and that the parts were ready to go. I had sneaked into practice the week before so I would know exactly where to sit to see both Jacob and Kaitlyn. I had painstakingly gone over the words to Jacob's part so that he could clearly pronounce each syllable. I made my husband get to church 20 minutes early to make sure that the bench I had mentally reserved was still mine for the taking and that no one would be able to stake their claim. I ran to the bathroom right after the sacrament was passed so I wouldn't find myself unable to concentrate when it was their turn by the “potty dance” I was afraid I'd be doing in my seat. I sat through the other children in the ward and I smiled when one I knew stood or one said their part so loudly into the microphone that the old man in front of me who was half asleep jumped from his slumber and embarrassed his family.

I cursed under my breath when an extremely tall gentlemen took his seat in front of me and I had to practically sit in Bailey's lap in order to see Jacob's little head peak out over the stand to sing. I watched lovingly and with awe at Kaitlyn at how she could sit so still and look so angelic while still somehow managing to flirt with the boy next to her and when she stood to say her part I grinned at her graceful ladylike stride that she took to the pulpit and the cute way she dropped her “r's” slightly at the end of her words just like I did when I was her age. I loved the confidence she displayed as she read from the scriptures and sang the songs with an elegance that is often hard to notice when she's zipping through the house at top speed to get away from a dart gun attack. My heart was so filled with love for that sweet child who puts up such a brave front all the time. Her singing was in such direct contrast to Jacob's who would sing the first three words of the song and then his hands would find their way to his face and he'd see how far he could stretch his cheeks or how many fingers he could put in his mouth before gagging. It wasn't that he didn't care about the songs, its that he isn't really too big into memorization and those songs are a bit long for a boy of his tender age. But then little Jacob took the stand. I was at the edge of my seat and mouthing the words under my breath, willing him to speak them. He looked right out at the audience and with the commanding voice of a future president said the words that I had waited to hear all week, "we can Rgsdkg ld iugoigwh” at least that is what everyone else heard but to his mother I heard the beautifully spoken words “we can read scriptures together”. His dad turned to ask me what he had said but the tears spilling over my eyes were clue that this was a moment not to be interrupted.

There is truly nothing more beautiful than the pure innocence of a tiny child whose spirit speaks with our Heavenly Father. My heart beamed. My children had stolen the show. And while I know how hard it is for the wonderful primary leaders to coordinate 60 children whose main goal is to get off that stage as quickly as possible, I can't wait for them to do it again for there isn't a more important sacrament of the year and I would dare say that conference comes a close second to the annual primary program, at least when my kids are in it.

Where in the World am I?

Friday I took Jacob, Bailey and Kaitlyn to High School Musical 3 which they loved and I reluctantly admit that I did too. Of course, high school was just like that for me as well so I guess it brought back memories ;)

I took Zach, Bailey and Kaitlyn with me to This is the Place for the Haunted Village this week and was shocked at how completely freaked out I was and how I found myself clinging to Zach for a large portion of the time. I guess since he towers over me now I expect him to be my knight in shining armor to save me from zombies and old men in prospecting hats and white beards. It was a great fall activity (GC was too scared to go so he stayed home with Jacob) and much to my surprise when we got into the corn maze part of the evening it was Zach who found our way out.

We spent a lot of our week trying to decide on costumes for Halloween. Jacob is stuck between Chuck Norris, a pirate, a dinosaur and Peter Pan. Since his dad has a strange love of Chuck it isn't a surprise. I am pretty sure mine is the only 5 year old walking around saying, "there is no such thing as global warming, Chuck was cold so he turned the sun up." I am voting for the dinosaur only because it will be the most uncomfortable costume and therefore it will limit the number of houses he will want to hit and then I can come home! I will be much more cheery for November, I love Thanksgiving!

Things my Daughters Taught me this Week

According to the girls and the show they watched the other night you should always use cold water to boil. Apparently, the hot water that has been sitting in the hot water heater has higher levels of lead and other metals.

I am not a big fan of science projects and when Bailey had to do one that would test the bacteria levels on my kitchen counter I was really not enthusiastic. Much to my surprise after two days of growing it there was nothing!!! I would pat myself on the back but in reality it is because of the anti microbal counters we have but I still felt pretty cool.

Hamsters are really cool animals but it is best to only hamster sit for your friends when they go out of town and not try to guilt daddy into getting one.

You can never have enough Littlest Pet Shops even if that means having twenty rabbits with different coloring and a "good mom" would memorize all 160 of their names.

(I think I need to get new pictures of us, that is from 2005)

A Mother's Nightmare

It is one of those phone calls that you fear you'll get one day, the one where your heart stops momentarily and you feel as though you'll never catch your breath. It was my sweet child on the other end saying, "mom, I'm lost, help me."

Well, actually he said, "so what would you say if I said I was lost?"
"I guess I'd laugh" was my response.
"Well, I'm completely lost, I have no idea where I am" He was laughing through the entire conversation so I didn't think he was in grave danger. He had left about 45 minutes earlier with the dog in tow to take her for a much needed walk. He has a path that he usually takes but today he decided, unintentionally, to go a different way. Before long all the homes all looked the same and the beautiful mountains he uses as a guide post were gone. It took a bit but he was able to find his way back to a familiar point the entire time making new friends on his way. It reminded me of the time we went to visit my grandmother in Boise. He told a lady at the playground that he was on vacation. She asked where he was from and he replied, "America". She asked him, holding back a grin, where he was then to which he replied, "Idaho". (Sorry Jen.)
His sense of direction rivals that of his father and those of you who have read the wonderful stories of him on the Trax understand exactly what that means. The good news is that the dog took a great nap afterward and his friends Kayla and Torrie went with him for the afternoon stroll.

(yes, that picture is old but it is so cute I had to put it in)

My Fun Weekend

I needed cookies but really didn't want to make them. GC, fearful for the ramifications if I went cookie-less ran to the bakery down the street and bought me some. He loves me.
Zach took a turn reading the map but boy it looks suspicious.
we went to the corn maze and it was so scary that GC had to keep his eyes closed. So why is this underlined and how do I undo it?

We went to This is the Place with our friends to the fun trick or treat thing they have. They made corn husk dolls and paid $6.00 for 3 chicken strips for lunch.











I burned my mouth on my pizza last night and the skin is still flapping, but I didn't think you'd want a picture of that.

Boys and their Toys

My husband has a love for carabiners and he has so many that we all make fun of him. Jacob has been obsessed with them since he was little. Last year the boys and I were in Walmart when Jacob announced (loudly) that his daddy would buy him a "hooker" for his birthday. Zach was laughing so hard I thought he'd pass out. The lady on the same aisle was not as impressed. Since then it has been our little family joke that we find amusing but we sure get a lot of funny looks from outsiders.

PJ's for Jacob

The lighting is horrible but the face is too cute. I went shopping for a new winter coat for myself since I don't have one that zips and it is a bit nippy around her lately. I found new pj's for Jacob for $9.00 and a Spiderman hat and glove set for $5. He was so excited he had to run and put them on. He said he will be sleeping in them FOREVER.

Finally, someone worth voting for

I must say I am humbled (hard to do) but am very appreciative of the show of support. I look forward to your vote.

Summer Miller for President
http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=370617&altf=Tvnnfs&altl=Njmmfs1
click the above link for my campaign video.

Inferiority Complex

Today I was visiting with one of my friends and we happened upon an interesting conversation. We had both noticed that women of the church, others too but Mormons especially, seem to have this inferiority complex. We tend to look at ourselves through these filters that seem to scream, “you're not good enough, you're not as wonderful as . . .”. I could go on and on about the different ways we compare ourselves to those around us but instead I've decided to come clean. I am going to tell you all about how much I don't measure up to those around me and how I have come to terms with that. After all, the gospel doesn't teach us to compare ourselves to others, in fact, it tells us not to. We should only be compared with who we were yesterday and the only time we should feel bad about who we are is when we are doing things that halt our spiritual progression

So. . .

I am not as gifted a writer as my friend Jennifer but that is okay because I find writing cathartic and even if I'm the only person who reads my stuff I am happier for having put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).

I am not as creative as my friend Ann. That is okay though because as my BFF (I sound so hip) I know she is there when I need an idea and she'll walk me through the painstakingly slow process of teaching me something new.

I am not as carefree as my buddy Tawyna. She can drop anything at a moments notice and fly across the country to be with friends. It is wonderful when I'm on the receiving end of those visits and her strong sense of adventure makes me a little less scared of the world around me.
I am not as organized as Kathy. I don't know how she does it but there is never anything out of place and you can open the door to her storage room at any time and it is spotless. That is okay because I know who to call when the pantry is out of control. I can make us lunch and put her to work cleaning it out and we can spend an afternoon chatting about the challenges of life.

I am not as patient as my friend Tami B. She is so calm and serene that just being around her makes me feel the Spirit. That is okay because instead of feeling bummed all the time that she is is so uplifting while I am down in the dumps, I can be thrilled to have her in my life and feel her warmth whenever I need a boost of self confidence.

I am not nearly as willing to speak my mind as BA. That is okay. Hearing her comments makes me realize that the thoughts running rampant in my head are okay to share. She reminds me it is okay to be real.

I am not as crafty as my sister in law Mary. She can look at anything, and I mean anything and recreate it. She has a gift for design and I have benefited from her amazing creations. I am glad for the times we've shared shopping at Roberts for just the right accent.

I am not as educated or able to think as deeply as Pat. She has a gift for deep thought and her ability to make you feel good about yourself is amazing. I am so grateful for her insight and her compliments.

I'm not as willing to put myself out there as Ali. She seems to be willing to share herself with people more than I do and I am pretty closed off until you get to know me. That is okay, sometimes it is alright to watch from afar for a bit.

I can't dress myself as well as Jenna. I know that sounds funny but I honestly don't know what matches what and if it weren't for my SU! Color chart I wouldn't have a clue. I have had friends actually organize my clothes according to what matches so I wouldn't be confused. That is okay because I don't want to always conform to societies ideals and if I want to wear my red shoes with my pink shirt I should!

As I write all these down and there are so many more people that if I were to compare myself too I would find myself falling short, but the point of my ramblings is that despite the areas that I am am lacking I have many that are just wonderful. I can look at my filthy living room and still sit through a movie. I can clean “well enough” that the health department doesn't condemn us and I can tickle a kid until he is breathless. I can swing on the swings at the park with my children and spend the afternoon at the pool without worrying too much about the chores that need to be done. I can shrink a shirt and think, “well, it will still fit Bailey”. I can cook a gourmet dinner and if I don't feel like cleaning it up I can rest easy knowing it will still be there tomorrow (okay, I don't rest easy but I still rest). I can listen to my girls ramble on and on and on and still interject the proper comments and the right time and if I don't it's okay because because I can cover myself pretty well. I can entertain a house of teenagers and no one can pick up a $5.00 pizza as well as I can. I can juggle many different roles without going insane, I can speak in front of hundreds without passing out. I can sound very professional on the phone and can usually get my way when needed. When I look at myself the way the rest of the world sees me I see that perhaps I am just as wonderful as they are but perhaps my greatest quality is my ability to surround myself with others who are amazing in many ways and that I can allow these terrific women into my heart and let them see the real me, flaws and all.

(And if I left any of my amazing friends out love me anyway, it's just another one of my charming flaws)

Not true, but funny

A man was showing people around heaven. He said this is where the Lutherans live, this is were the Catholics live, and be very quiet this is where the Mormons live.. they don't know anyone else lives here.

I was so sad. . . but not for long.

I LOVE my crock pot. I love knowing that I can throw a few ingredients in to the pot in the morning and "wa la" (how would you spell that?) I have dinner. The other day the unthinkable happened, I picked up the lid and the handle shattered. I was devastated. This was only about a year old and it was my favorite with all the fancy settings and the pretty stoneware. I went today to get a new one and I found this. . . I know it looks like an ordinary crock pot but it is my favorite color and it has all the same fancy buttons as my old one and it was on sale for the same price as a boring one. I was a happy camper. I had to run home and throw chicken in it so that I can't convince myself to return it later when it hits me that the economy is in the toilet.

Some of my favorite photos from my past

I was a year old and wasn't too happy about getting my picture taken. I ended up holding my Raggedy Ann doll the entire time. I thought it was funny years later when Bailey was a year and wouldn't put down the cow she was holding.

I was 15 and thought I was sooooo cool. I got this outfit for a super deal because I modeled it for a fashion show.
My mother was, well, HOT!! This isn't what she wore around the house (she wore pj's with feet in them or her purple space cadet suit) but this was her chili cook off outfit.

Don't remember where I heard it but I love it.

If you don't stand behind our soldiers feel free to stand in front of them.

Thoughts on Laundry

While watching conference yesterday I remembered something a friend asked me to jot down for a lesson in R.S. While not beautifully written it stands as a reminder of the Prophets talk to enjoy today and be grateful for the finger prints because they will be gone all too soon.
It had only been three days since the last time I dared enter “that room” at the end of the hall. It was only because of the mysterious smell that had overcome the entire west wing of the home that I decided it was necessary. Of all the rooms in the house this was perhaps the most intimidating. The door could barely open and despite my thin build it was difficult to slide my way past the mounds of decomposing matter.

Three days multiplied by six people means eighteen towels (my family refuses to use a towel twice for fear of drying their face with the end of the towel that formally dried someone’s feet). There were six swimming suits; countless outfits sized 12 months covered in various bodily excretements and three leotards despite the fact that no one takes dance or gym. There were sweat socks that stood at attention and a pile of clothing that looked suspiciously like the clean stack I had handed my daughter just a couple days prior. There were pants with missing buttons, zippers that were stuck, shoe laces to be washed, sheets to be cleaned and garmets to be bleached. There were eighteen once white kitchen towels, a car seat cover that was hit when a diaper exploded and bed spread from my room that was attacked during a diaper change. All in all it was a disaster, a room from which husbands and children alike would have run. It was simply another Monday.

>Monday means family home evening and being November our lesson was on being thankful. As I looked at my “leaves”to place on our family tree that stated the things I am thankful for, I surprised even myself to see at the top of my list – laundry. I am thankful for the stained baby clothes because it means I have a baby in the house, because along with the stains and leaks comes smiles and hugs. I’m thankful for the leotards because it means my girls are creative and don’t yet worry about conforming to society’s ideas of “cool”. I’m thankful for the sweat socks because it shows me my son knows how to be a boy and that we have a great place to play. I’m thankful for the towels because it shows me that my husband loves me enough to smell good when he cuddles me at night. I’m thankful for the collection of clothes, missing buttons, and the zippers that don’t zip because they make me feel useful. When I looked closely at the heaps of filthy clothes I realized that one day I’ll miss these piles because my family will be gone and I will be the strange woman wandering the neighborhood in search of stains to get out.

The sad thing is that baby is now 5. It really does seem like yesterday!

I've been Tagged

Quirk
Tagged by Tawyna

Definition of quirk:n. 1. A peculiarity of behavior; an idiosyncrasy: "Every man had his own quirks and twists" Harriet Beecher Stowe. 2. An unpredictable or unaccountable act or event; a vagary: a quirk of fate.

Rules: Link the Person who Tagged you. Mention rules on your blog. Tell about 6 quirks of yours. Tag 6 fellow bloggers to do the same. Leave a comment to let them know.

1. I try to make sure I chew on both sides of my mouth the same amount of times so one side of my teeth isn't shorter than the other.
2. I pick the "last bite" of food on my plate a few bites into it and will stab a fork through my husbands hand if he tries to take it.
3. I like my chicken dried out. I don't like it too juicy because my imagination gets going and then I can't eat it.
4. I honestly wish I were a bit more OCD because I assume my house would get a lot cleaner.
5. If we have company coming and by some miracle I get the house really, really clean I leave at least one thing out so that it doesn't look like I tried to be "perfect".
6. I HATE to get the mail. I know there could be something absolutely wonderful in there but more than likely it would just be bills and I really don't want to deal it until payday.

I tag Jennifer, Tami, BA, Jaleece, Ann and Pat (The last two don't comment to the general public but I would like to see their list anyway)