Reflections of a Mother

I sat in the back row of the chapel after having gotten up extra early to make sure that everyone's hair was perfectly combed and that the parts were ready to go. I had sneaked into practice the week before so I would know exactly where to sit to see both Jacob and Kaitlyn. I had painstakingly gone over the words to Jacob's part so that he could clearly pronounce each syllable. I made my husband get to church 20 minutes early to make sure that the bench I had mentally reserved was still mine for the taking and that no one would be able to stake their claim. I ran to the bathroom right after the sacrament was passed so I wouldn't find myself unable to concentrate when it was their turn by the “potty dance” I was afraid I'd be doing in my seat. I sat through the other children in the ward and I smiled when one I knew stood or one said their part so loudly into the microphone that the old man in front of me who was half asleep jumped from his slumber and embarrassed his family.

I cursed under my breath when an extremely tall gentlemen took his seat in front of me and I had to practically sit in Bailey's lap in order to see Jacob's little head peak out over the stand to sing. I watched lovingly and with awe at Kaitlyn at how she could sit so still and look so angelic while still somehow managing to flirt with the boy next to her and when she stood to say her part I grinned at her graceful ladylike stride that she took to the pulpit and the cute way she dropped her “r's” slightly at the end of her words just like I did when I was her age. I loved the confidence she displayed as she read from the scriptures and sang the songs with an elegance that is often hard to notice when she's zipping through the house at top speed to get away from a dart gun attack. My heart was so filled with love for that sweet child who puts up such a brave front all the time. Her singing was in such direct contrast to Jacob's who would sing the first three words of the song and then his hands would find their way to his face and he'd see how far he could stretch his cheeks or how many fingers he could put in his mouth before gagging. It wasn't that he didn't care about the songs, its that he isn't really too big into memorization and those songs are a bit long for a boy of his tender age. But then little Jacob took the stand. I was at the edge of my seat and mouthing the words under my breath, willing him to speak them. He looked right out at the audience and with the commanding voice of a future president said the words that I had waited to hear all week, "we can Rgsdkg ld iugoigwh” at least that is what everyone else heard but to his mother I heard the beautifully spoken words “we can read scriptures together”. His dad turned to ask me what he had said but the tears spilling over my eyes were clue that this was a moment not to be interrupted.

There is truly nothing more beautiful than the pure innocence of a tiny child whose spirit speaks with our Heavenly Father. My heart beamed. My children had stolen the show. And while I know how hard it is for the wonderful primary leaders to coordinate 60 children whose main goal is to get off that stage as quickly as possible, I can't wait for them to do it again for there isn't a more important sacrament of the year and I would dare say that conference comes a close second to the annual primary program, at least when my kids are in it.