Inferiority Complex

Today I was visiting with one of my friends and we happened upon an interesting conversation. We had both noticed that women of the church, others too but Mormons especially, seem to have this inferiority complex. We tend to look at ourselves through these filters that seem to scream, “you're not good enough, you're not as wonderful as . . .”. I could go on and on about the different ways we compare ourselves to those around us but instead I've decided to come clean. I am going to tell you all about how much I don't measure up to those around me and how I have come to terms with that. After all, the gospel doesn't teach us to compare ourselves to others, in fact, it tells us not to. We should only be compared with who we were yesterday and the only time we should feel bad about who we are is when we are doing things that halt our spiritual progression

So. . .

I am not as gifted a writer as my friend Jennifer but that is okay because I find writing cathartic and even if I'm the only person who reads my stuff I am happier for having put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).

I am not as creative as my friend Ann. That is okay though because as my BFF (I sound so hip) I know she is there when I need an idea and she'll walk me through the painstakingly slow process of teaching me something new.

I am not as carefree as my buddy Tawyna. She can drop anything at a moments notice and fly across the country to be with friends. It is wonderful when I'm on the receiving end of those visits and her strong sense of adventure makes me a little less scared of the world around me.
I am not as organized as Kathy. I don't know how she does it but there is never anything out of place and you can open the door to her storage room at any time and it is spotless. That is okay because I know who to call when the pantry is out of control. I can make us lunch and put her to work cleaning it out and we can spend an afternoon chatting about the challenges of life.

I am not as patient as my friend Tami B. She is so calm and serene that just being around her makes me feel the Spirit. That is okay because instead of feeling bummed all the time that she is is so uplifting while I am down in the dumps, I can be thrilled to have her in my life and feel her warmth whenever I need a boost of self confidence.

I am not nearly as willing to speak my mind as BA. That is okay. Hearing her comments makes me realize that the thoughts running rampant in my head are okay to share. She reminds me it is okay to be real.

I am not as crafty as my sister in law Mary. She can look at anything, and I mean anything and recreate it. She has a gift for design and I have benefited from her amazing creations. I am glad for the times we've shared shopping at Roberts for just the right accent.

I am not as educated or able to think as deeply as Pat. She has a gift for deep thought and her ability to make you feel good about yourself is amazing. I am so grateful for her insight and her compliments.

I'm not as willing to put myself out there as Ali. She seems to be willing to share herself with people more than I do and I am pretty closed off until you get to know me. That is okay, sometimes it is alright to watch from afar for a bit.

I can't dress myself as well as Jenna. I know that sounds funny but I honestly don't know what matches what and if it weren't for my SU! Color chart I wouldn't have a clue. I have had friends actually organize my clothes according to what matches so I wouldn't be confused. That is okay because I don't want to always conform to societies ideals and if I want to wear my red shoes with my pink shirt I should!

As I write all these down and there are so many more people that if I were to compare myself too I would find myself falling short, but the point of my ramblings is that despite the areas that I am am lacking I have many that are just wonderful. I can look at my filthy living room and still sit through a movie. I can clean “well enough” that the health department doesn't condemn us and I can tickle a kid until he is breathless. I can swing on the swings at the park with my children and spend the afternoon at the pool without worrying too much about the chores that need to be done. I can shrink a shirt and think, “well, it will still fit Bailey”. I can cook a gourmet dinner and if I don't feel like cleaning it up I can rest easy knowing it will still be there tomorrow (okay, I don't rest easy but I still rest). I can listen to my girls ramble on and on and on and still interject the proper comments and the right time and if I don't it's okay because because I can cover myself pretty well. I can entertain a house of teenagers and no one can pick up a $5.00 pizza as well as I can. I can juggle many different roles without going insane, I can speak in front of hundreds without passing out. I can sound very professional on the phone and can usually get my way when needed. When I look at myself the way the rest of the world sees me I see that perhaps I am just as wonderful as they are but perhaps my greatest quality is my ability to surround myself with others who are amazing in many ways and that I can allow these terrific women into my heart and let them see the real me, flaws and all.

(And if I left any of my amazing friends out love me anyway, it's just another one of my charming flaws)