Bailey

I thought 2011 was going to fantastic but when I went to church the first Sunday of the year and they informed me that Jacob was in senior primary I about lost it.  I can't imagine sending my little baby boy into the big kid class.  Then of course it was pointed out to me that he'll be baptized and join cub scouts this year (or maybe not if I can find a really good excuse). Tears started flowing almost instantly.  I managed to make it through the remainder of church but when I shared my sadness with Bailey she looked at me with her innocent eyes and said, "mom...it's a big year for all of us".  Oh my goodness....she is right!!!!!  She is turning 15 tomorrow. FIFTEEN!!!  Do you realize what 15 means?  That means I only have a few more years of my angel girl living in my home.  I bawled for about an hour.  I'm lucky that she has stayed so sweet and innocent.  She has yet to go through the bratty teen years (and hopefully will not) and she still asks my opinion and wants to spend time with me and shares all the details of her life with me.  I love it.  I feared that as she got older she and I would butt heads and that she'd pull away.  I  worried that she wouldn't be as kind and generous and that she would become more like the teenage Summer that I regret being.  It hasn't happened.  She is so well grounded and centered and focused and honestly, if I were a girl her age I'd probably hate her for being so perfect. I'm so grateful for her.  I'm grateful for her loving and nurturing personality.  I love that when she's mad she cleans.  I also love that I'm able to tick her off sometimes on purposed just because the house is a mess.  I love that she has goals...good goals....ones that she works toward daily.  I'm so proud of her.   These are the thoughts I have when I think of my little girl and then I remember how she pointed out that Kaitlyn will be 12 this year and be a Beehive...I cried again. At least she informed me that Zach will be a Senior this coming fall!  I guess I love everything about Bailey except for the fact that she is able to point out that I am closer and closer to being an empty nester and that I will need to find new purpose.  (sob sob sob).