We all make mistakes

Zachary came to tell me that Jacob is the most positive person he's met.  Apparently they were having a conversation about mistakes and Jacob said, "Zach, I'm going to make mistakes in my life, but I'm not going to feel bad about them now, I'll wait until I make the mistakes.  But don't worry, I'll be much older when it happens and I will know how to repent".

shoes

I have a thing for RED...it makes me happy.    I ruined my favorite red shoes in the garden last year (I know...why in the world did I wear them in the garden) so today I went in search of the perfect pair.  Sadly, I didn't find the red high heels I was searching for and on the way into Kohls my favorite red purse broke!!!  It was so so very sad but I found one for 75% off and I had a coupon for 15% off of that so it was ALMOST free. I found a pair of Naturalizers on sale for $40 and though that is about four times the amount I like to spend on shoes (my mother taught me that shoes were the most important investment and to always buy quality but I was never a very good listener). Bailey made me buy them but when I came home I was convinced I would have to take them back because they were excessive so I spit on them.  Yep....I SPIT on my shoe so I wouldn't have to take them back.  They are now safely on my feet and I may sleep in them.  Hooray for red shoes!

I'm going to whine for a bit so feel free to skip this if you're tired of people complaining about things.  I was watching the news with Kaitlyn the other day and they talked about the extreme likelihood of food going up in price again over the next little bit.  I shouldn't be shocked, after all, gas is going through the roof too.  In fact, everything is going up except for our paycheck and I'm really, really tired of it.  Kaitlyn was panicked that people will go hungry (not in our house) and she wants to find a way to make a difference.  It is really hard to look at her with her little altruistic dreams and tell her that there isn't much to do.  I want my kids to be happy, carefree and not have to worry about horrible things going on around them.  I can turn off the news, cancel cable and give her a pair of rose colored glasses but beyond that I'm not sure how to ensure that my kids have a childhood.

I Have Issues....Shocker!

I have issues.....I know....you're shocked....but the first step to fixing my problem is to admit I have one...right?  I am an extremely unorganized person.  If something doesn't change I'm going to be on an episode of Hoarders.  Ok, not really, I'm not THAT bad but I do have piles of stuff everywhere and can't close the drawers to my dresser.  I have a beautiful craft room that I can't use because there are too many unfinished projects covering each surface of my work area.  There are ALWAYS dishes piled in my sink and there are often five boxes of nearly empty cereal on the pantry shelves.  I have decided that I need to find out WHY I do this...why do I let it get out of control.  I always seem to have some kind of excuse and in reality I think a lot of it is because I'm a perfectionist.  I know that my house will never be perfect so why even try.  I was that way in school to, if I didn't know I would be the best at it I just didn't do it.  It was better to appear as though I didn't care, rather than to look like I couldn't excel.  I have decided that I need to face this head on and make some changes.  I've read about 25 different organization/decluttering books but none of them seem to resonate with me.  So I'm taking baby steps.  I will accomplish ONE project a day.  Project doesn't mean that I'm going to be tackling a closet every day but perhaps a drawer, or a shelf.  Today I cleaned out my craft room.  It was so liberating.  I even laid down on the floor and made carpet angels just because it was spacious and nicely vacuumed.  I know that this isn't of interest to anyone but me but I was hoping that by putting it in writing I'll stick to it.  I like to be held accountable for things and perhaps I'll make myself a chore chart with gold stars.

Seriously?

Today I overfilled the cupcake tin and ended up with cupcake all over my oven.  Then I got a knife stuck in the garbage disposer and ended up somehow having egg and icky water shoot up from the disposal and into my freshly washed hair and face.  I dropped an entire can of Dr Pepper on my bed and in an attempt to save what I could I ended up spilling it all over just about every surface in my bedroom.  To finish it off I hemmed Bailey's pants...inside out...both legs....and they weren't even straight.  I think perhaps my husband was right when he said I should just take a day off!

What She SHOULD Have Said

What She Said

“Mom, there was an orange with mold on it”.

What she should have said

“Hey Mom, remember last week when I didn't go to school for a couple of days.? Well....I never emptied my lunch box and left half of an orange in it. I didn't use that lunch box for a while so it is probably pretty nasty. So when you are walking around the house sniffing today (since it's the first day in two weeks you can smell anything) to find the smell, whatever you do, don't take a giant deep breath into my lunch box because it may very well have been so moldy that it turned into a fine green mold powder that you may accidentally inhale rendering the involuntary contraction of your lungs useless and cause a full on asthma attack which you haven't had in over a year and also cause you to vomit uncontrollably for a minute or two into your nice clean sink.”

Bailey

I thought 2011 was going to fantastic but when I went to church the first Sunday of the year and they informed me that Jacob was in senior primary I about lost it.  I can't imagine sending my little baby boy into the big kid class.  Then of course it was pointed out to me that he'll be baptized and join cub scouts this year (or maybe not if I can find a really good excuse). Tears started flowing almost instantly.  I managed to make it through the remainder of church but when I shared my sadness with Bailey she looked at me with her innocent eyes and said, "mom...it's a big year for all of us".  Oh my goodness....she is right!!!!!  She is turning 15 tomorrow. FIFTEEN!!!  Do you realize what 15 means?  That means I only have a few more years of my angel girl living in my home.  I bawled for about an hour.  I'm lucky that she has stayed so sweet and innocent.  She has yet to go through the bratty teen years (and hopefully will not) and she still asks my opinion and wants to spend time with me and shares all the details of her life with me.  I love it.  I feared that as she got older she and I would butt heads and that she'd pull away.  I  worried that she wouldn't be as kind and generous and that she would become more like the teenage Summer that I regret being.  It hasn't happened.  She is so well grounded and centered and focused and honestly, if I were a girl her age I'd probably hate her for being so perfect. I'm so grateful for her.  I'm grateful for her loving and nurturing personality.  I love that when she's mad she cleans.  I also love that I'm able to tick her off sometimes on purposed just because the house is a mess.  I love that she has goals...good goals....ones that she works toward daily.  I'm so proud of her.   These are the thoughts I have when I think of my little girl and then I remember how she pointed out that Kaitlyn will be 12 this year and be a Beehive...I cried again. At least she informed me that Zach will be a Senior this coming fall!  I guess I love everything about Bailey except for the fact that she is able to point out that I am closer and closer to being an empty nester and that I will need to find new purpose.  (sob sob sob).