I Have Issues....Shocker!

I have issues.....I know....you're shocked....but the first step to fixing my problem is to admit I have one...right?  I am an extremely unorganized person.  If something doesn't change I'm going to be on an episode of Hoarders.  Ok, not really, I'm not THAT bad but I do have piles of stuff everywhere and can't close the drawers to my dresser.  I have a beautiful craft room that I can't use because there are too many unfinished projects covering each surface of my work area.  There are ALWAYS dishes piled in my sink and there are often five boxes of nearly empty cereal on the pantry shelves.  I have decided that I need to find out WHY I do this...why do I let it get out of control.  I always seem to have some kind of excuse and in reality I think a lot of it is because I'm a perfectionist.  I know that my house will never be perfect so why even try.  I was that way in school to, if I didn't know I would be the best at it I just didn't do it.  It was better to appear as though I didn't care, rather than to look like I couldn't excel.  I have decided that I need to face this head on and make some changes.  I've read about 25 different organization/decluttering books but none of them seem to resonate with me.  So I'm taking baby steps.  I will accomplish ONE project a day.  Project doesn't mean that I'm going to be tackling a closet every day but perhaps a drawer, or a shelf.  Today I cleaned out my craft room.  It was so liberating.  I even laid down on the floor and made carpet angels just because it was spacious and nicely vacuumed.  I know that this isn't of interest to anyone but me but I was hoping that by putting it in writing I'll stick to it.  I like to be held accountable for things and perhaps I'll make myself a chore chart with gold stars.

Seriously?

Today I overfilled the cupcake tin and ended up with cupcake all over my oven.  Then I got a knife stuck in the garbage disposer and ended up somehow having egg and icky water shoot up from the disposal and into my freshly washed hair and face.  I dropped an entire can of Dr Pepper on my bed and in an attempt to save what I could I ended up spilling it all over just about every surface in my bedroom.  To finish it off I hemmed Bailey's pants...inside out...both legs....and they weren't even straight.  I think perhaps my husband was right when he said I should just take a day off!

What She SHOULD Have Said

What She Said

“Mom, there was an orange with mold on it”.

What she should have said

“Hey Mom, remember last week when I didn't go to school for a couple of days.? Well....I never emptied my lunch box and left half of an orange in it. I didn't use that lunch box for a while so it is probably pretty nasty. So when you are walking around the house sniffing today (since it's the first day in two weeks you can smell anything) to find the smell, whatever you do, don't take a giant deep breath into my lunch box because it may very well have been so moldy that it turned into a fine green mold powder that you may accidentally inhale rendering the involuntary contraction of your lungs useless and cause a full on asthma attack which you haven't had in over a year and also cause you to vomit uncontrollably for a minute or two into your nice clean sink.”

Bailey

I thought 2011 was going to fantastic but when I went to church the first Sunday of the year and they informed me that Jacob was in senior primary I about lost it.  I can't imagine sending my little baby boy into the big kid class.  Then of course it was pointed out to me that he'll be baptized and join cub scouts this year (or maybe not if I can find a really good excuse). Tears started flowing almost instantly.  I managed to make it through the remainder of church but when I shared my sadness with Bailey she looked at me with her innocent eyes and said, "mom...it's a big year for all of us".  Oh my goodness....she is right!!!!!  She is turning 15 tomorrow. FIFTEEN!!!  Do you realize what 15 means?  That means I only have a few more years of my angel girl living in my home.  I bawled for about an hour.  I'm lucky that she has stayed so sweet and innocent.  She has yet to go through the bratty teen years (and hopefully will not) and she still asks my opinion and wants to spend time with me and shares all the details of her life with me.  I love it.  I feared that as she got older she and I would butt heads and that she'd pull away.  I  worried that she wouldn't be as kind and generous and that she would become more like the teenage Summer that I regret being.  It hasn't happened.  She is so well grounded and centered and focused and honestly, if I were a girl her age I'd probably hate her for being so perfect. I'm so grateful for her.  I'm grateful for her loving and nurturing personality.  I love that when she's mad she cleans.  I also love that I'm able to tick her off sometimes on purposed just because the house is a mess.  I love that she has goals...good goals....ones that she works toward daily.  I'm so proud of her.   These are the thoughts I have when I think of my little girl and then I remember how she pointed out that Kaitlyn will be 12 this year and be a Beehive...I cried again. At least she informed me that Zach will be a Senior this coming fall!  I guess I love everything about Bailey except for the fact that she is able to point out that I am closer and closer to being an empty nester and that I will need to find new purpose.  (sob sob sob).

Oops

I have the ability to stick my foot in the mouth better than most. My friend made a comment on her facebook page that she is having a problem with mice. She is trapping and killing them constantly. I meant to make a comment on her post that said, "My friend had that happen a couple years ago, dozens of them just popped right out while I was talking to her on the phone..I couldn't help but laugh". It turns out I made the comment on the wrong page...unfortunately it was on the KSL news page under the story about the Attorney General's colon cancer. I laughed for at least an hour.

A couple of years ago when I was in charge of the ward bulletin I misspelled a very important word. Of course I didn't notice until I was in Sacrament and nearly fell of the bench laughing so hard. I had to climb over the kids and make my exit while the bishopric looked on disapprovingly and half the ward frantically searched the bulletin to see what had set me off. There was a golf tournament and it was supposed to read, "18 holes for a $20".... I had written "18 HOES for $20". I was released not too long after that :)

Happy New Years

New Years has never been much of a holiday to me. I've never liked staying up late and partying just isn't my thing. I've also had a hard time with the idea that somehow making a resolution to change on a specific day is going to result in real change. I have yet to keep a resolution. This year will be different though. I have decided to make my resolutions retroactively. After I accomplish something I will decide that it was part of my resolution. So far I picked up all the clothes off my closet floor! Wahoo!!!! I am accomplished!

Some of the things I hope make it on to that list are:
1. put Christ first in my life
2. read my scriptures regularly
3. cook dinner with more than one dish involved
4. be more patient
5. keep my house cleaner
6. fold and put laundry away before it's time to wash again
7. make my craft room usable...again (as soon as I clean it someone uses it and it's buried again).
8. be more thoughtful
9. only buy things I REALLY need
10. play more games with my kids
11. be less judgmental
12. build a better relationship with extended family
13. think before I eat
14. worry less
15. be less negative
16. organize my recipe collection
17. try new foods
18. learn to knit
19. remember peoples birthdays(without Facebook)
20. find happiness in the moment

Christmas Miracle

When I was too old to expect Santa on Christmas Eve my mom and dad decided it was time to give back. My mom made my dad the most beautiful Santa suit for my dad and made me an elf costume. We would drive around on Christmas Eve and visit families in the ward and my friends. I was an Irish Elf, Killarny. My dad named me that because when "Santa got mad..he'd kill arny". (yep, we have issues). We had this beautiful 1955 Chevy Bel Air without a heater and with hand dyed seat covers. My mom would drive while dad and I spread Christmas joy. My mom would wait in the car huddled under multiple blankets. One of my favorite visits was to my friend Jennifer who we found eating Ramen Noodle with her hands right out of the package. We looked forward to it every year. We sold the car several years later but my dad and I did our Christmas errands up until I got married. Dad still plays Santa each year for the kids. It's a treasured memory.

Today while leaving the movie theater we saw Santa and Mrs. Claus driving an 1950's Red and White Chevy. I was stopped at a stop sign waiting my turn when he drove by. I let out a shriek and a tear came to my eye as Santa and Mrs. Claus waved at me. My kids thought I was nuts, they didn't understand for a moment that this to me was my Christmas miracle, a sign from my mom that she is here and watching over my family. This sweet couple dressed in costume have no idea that they made my Christmas