I decided that we needed a little
adventure so I convinced Bailey, Kaitlyn and Jacob to go for a "short
drive" up the hill. I told them we'd only be about 30
minutes. We found a beautiful canyon not too far from home and
since just about everyone I know raves about its beauty we decided to
head up the hill. At the first turn off I should have realized
there was something wrong....I was the only non four wheel drive
around and the concrete quickly turned into tiny pebbles and dirt
that pelted my window when my speed reached 5 miles an hour. We
found a spot to pull over by a lovely little stream when out of
nowhere popped up a half naked man obviously involved in some kind of
extra curricular activity out in the open. I was able to
distract the kids with what looked like a tree full of termites while
we figured out how to get our van out of the mud puddle.
Disappointed in the lack of play time at
the first stop we made our way further up the "hill".
We found a lovely spot to stop, water trickled down the rocks into
the most beautiful little stream. There were fallen trees and
beautiful green foliage that carpeted the ground. Without much
thought we climbed the path. Bailey and Kaitlyn took their
shoes off and wandered through the little stream and Jacob used his
carabener he takes everywhere to hook himself to the trees and
swing. As we made our way back to our car I heard the most
dreaded phrase ....."Mom, RUN!" Anyone that knows me
understands that there is only one reason that I run and if I'm
running you should probably follow because something scary is most
definitely chasing me. Jacob, having known this for 8 years
promptly screamed and ran right along side me. Kaitlyn stood
motionless, only her eyes darting to the water knowing full well that
there would be a serpent just waiting to strike. Since danger
is her middle name she had to stay. Bailey, the animal wrangler
stood barefoot placing herself between the snake and her
terrified mom. She calmly repeated her plea for me to go
quickly which truly wasn't needed since I had already climbed to the
top of the car and was screaming for my daughters to join me and my
obedient son. The girls slowly made their way down the trail giggling
at the scene they'd just witnessed when all of a sudden a blood
curdling scream broke through the levity and the entire forest held
its breathe. Bailey was frantically dancing and yelling while
her sister laughed hysterically and I tried to decide if this was
something she could handle on her own or if I'd have to put my "mom"
hat back on and get over my fear. ...turns out it was a spider...a
tiny little defenseless spider whose life was cut short by the
repetitive slapping of a teenage girl. There was no doubt in
our minds that our adventure needed to come to an end so we made our
way back to the road in the only direction we could go....UP.
It was about this time that I realized
that this hill we've been climbing was truly a mountain, a mountain
meant only for billy goats and mountain lions and for people in cars
that had a death wish or serious issues with adrenaline addiction.
The car measures about 5 feet across, the road about 5 feet and 2
inches and each time that we got to turn which I'm pretty sure would
have measured at 90 degrees we met with a truck...not a little truck
but a giant van eating vehicle prepared to shove us off into the
trees that would ultimately have resulted in an unpleasant landing. I
was near tears, I don't like heights, I don't like mountainous roads
and I most certainly don't like the idea of navigating them when 90 %
of the people driving down the road were holding a Bud Light in their
hands. Frantically, I ordered the kids to pray and to try to
get cell phone service so that we could at least call the boys at
home and tell them that we love them and to look for us at the bottom
of the canyon. The reception was spotty at best and through the
tears I'm pretty sure my husband understood that he'd be cleaning the
cat box on his own for the rest of his life. It is amazing the
thoughts that cross your mind while you're facing your
demise....did I remember to put the laundry in the dryer, did the
clothes on the floor of the closet get picked up so that if someone
has to come and clean it out they won't be horrified (no, the
didn't), would Zachary remember to mow the lawn once a week and would
my husband be able to survive without someone there to sniff the
leftovers for him.
In the end our prayers were answered.
We made it to the very top of what must be the highest point of all
of Utah and I sat there shaking, knuckles white on the steering
wheel. Kaitlyn says from the backseat "wow, it sure is
beautiful up here I"m going to go look". Jacob looks to the
West and says "wow, sure are a lot of bullet holes in that
sign. You know if there is a rock slide we're all going to die"
and Bailey, trying hard to contain her laughter searched for help.
She approached two daring souls who were standing a top a barricade
taking in the scenery to ask them which would be the least steep way
to get back down the hill. There was laughter, a few looks in
my direction and she made her way back to the car with the comment
"we're screwed". I pulled out the phone in an attempt
to find the National Guard phone number that I undoubtedly have saved
for such emergencies and debated the best spot for the helicopter to
land to retrieve us from the top of the mountain. At last, a
kind man, trying his best to choke back his laughter, approached us
and explained that while the fastest way for us to go home was down
the way we had just come, the least scary way was down the other side
of the mountain into Tooele. Tooele....I've been there, it
wasn't scary, it was FLAT...I could do that. He told me that it
was a lovely road that would gently wind down the hill and I'd be
home in two hours flat. With prayers of Thanksgiving we made
our way to Tooele. We stopped along the way so that I could
relieve myself, its amazing what a bumpy road and a little panic
attack can do to the bladder. I was terrified to get out of the
car but upon stopping the kids raced to the outdoors in search of
bugs and the deer that had just run passed us. Bailey stayed
back a bit, looked around for a suitable place for me to christen and
then stood just feet away swallowing the fit of laughter as her poor
pathetic mother tried desperately not to scream just thinking about
what venom was just waiting for me to drop my pants. We took a
few pictures of the scenery, laughed when we realized the spot I had
chosen to take care of business was only about 100 yards from a group
of campers and continued down the hill. Out of nowhere appeared
the most beautiful herd of cows that were kind enough not to ram my
van as we stopped to watch nature at its best.
At this point the phones were pretty
much dead, there was no GPS in the car and not only was the car
running close to empty but so were our stomachs. We found a
little Mom and Pop grocery store at the bottom of the mountain and
ran to the Deli to make our selections. Bailey saw fit to
retell our adventure to the people behind the counter who chuckled
and gave us a complimentary dinner, no doubt in an effort to make up
for the inappropriate laughing. Either that or they found
Bailey attractive, I don't care which one since the end result was
some pretty yummy friend chicken and potato wedges. It was so
nice to be in civilization again and having gotten my barrings I said
the the kids "lets stop at the Salt Lake". The kids
were thrilled to have a bathroom available and Jacob wanted
desperately to see the water. As I stood outside the bathrooms,
pleased to have navigated my way through the afternoon with only a
few outbursts, I heard the blood curdling scream once again.
This time it wasn't just Bailey but Kaitlyn as well. Before I
could respond Jacob came running from the bathroom still buttoning
his pants and people from all around started to run toward the
bathroom. The screaming continued as I ran to save my daughters
from what could only have been an attacker. I had my toe shoes
on and I was faster than ever. Arms waving, feet dancing my girls
appeared around the corner yelling "SPIDERS". I
stopped dead in my tracks and turned to walk as far away from the
scene as I could while the rest of the spectators rolled their eyes
and went back to their business. After a quick trip to the bug
infested lake we decided that nothing sounded better than hot showers
and the comfort of our own home. “Mom, where were we?” Jacob
asked. “Tooele” I answered. “Are we back in Utah yet?” Was
his sweet reply. Blasting "Call Me Maybe" we found solace
in the rhythmic sound of our tires on the good old I-15 that lead
home to Herriman and the rest of our family who simply smiled and
said "did you have a good trip?"
