Helicopter Parent Crash and Burn

I am a self professed, recovering helicopter parent and I am having a relapse. I have always prided myself of always being there to pick up the pieces when something went wrong for my children. I was never the mom standing at the classroom door with the homework assignment that was forgotten, I figured they should learn to be responsible and to live with consequences. I have never had a problem admitting when my kids made a mistake and most certainly never try to bail them out when they do something wrong but the one area that I tend to hover is when it comes to their feelings. For those of you who have read the last of the Twilight you'll understand when I saw I 100% relate to the passion in that book. (I won't ruin it for those of you who haven't read it you'll just have to imagine) I am a mother bear ready to attack. I come by it naturally. My mom once attempted to jump the counter of my junior high when a teacher had attacked my credibility. She was a spunky little lady. I find myself trying really hard to breathe deeply count to ten and sing a happy song but sometimes it is so hard. My husband's solution is always along the line of buying a pony and prancing up and down the street on it with a sign that says "I have a pony and you don't". Are there any of you out there who have wisdom you can share? How do I let the pain and trauma of childhood go and let my children deal with it on their own?