Why Heavenly Father Created Take Out

We have an extra kid this week and as such I decided to gourmet dinner up a bit today. You know, give people the illusion I am more cool than I am. After all, you know what picky eaters teenage boys are!!! I wanted to make bacon wrapped bbq chicken smothered in cheese and green onions, corn on the cob, potato salad and watermelon. That sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Just one problem, the BBQ is outside, in the yard, where the snake was last week. So, I decided to make oven bbq chicken, great in theory but without an indoor grill you just don't get the pretty little lines I wanted. As I was cooking my bacon the doorbell rang, as I chatted with my neighbor she commented on the wonderful smell, that was the indication that the beautifully peppered bacon was getting a bit more than crispy. I was able to salvage the majority of the bacon. I decided to move the chicken from the oven to the range to make "grill marks", or at least the illusion of marks. The burner wasn't starting so in my stupidity I leaned over to see what the problem was right as it ignited, narrowly missing my right eyebrow with the resulting flame. Then I spilled the bbq/chicken juice all down the front of me because I forgot why we have hot pads and decided that after dirtying four pans that I might as well just go turn on the BBQ. I called Zach to inspect the yard, including under every large rock and the empty lot next door. I left strict instructions with Jacob that if he heard screaming he was to grab Zach and call 911. The actual cooking outside was delightful. I jumped at every bird that flew over and only screamed once when the stick 3 yards away somehow spooked me.
The chicken was delicious, covered in just the right amount of cheddar cheese and bacon. The leftover cheese I left on the counter however somehow ended up all over the tile and when I questioned people Jacob looked at me with his precious eyes and said, "yup, that was me". It took 45 minutes to clean up the mess created in my attempt to avoid the outside. I reached for my half empty can of Coke which I most certainly deserved only to remember part way into my first sip that I had used the can to hold the bacon drippings!!!! Needless to say, tomorrow will be pizza!!!!