I usually try to keep my religious side a bit sheltered from the world but today I can't help but share my testimony of the Spirit and of eternal families. Bailey left this morning for girls camp, even though in an attempt to save his wife from misery, my husband offered her $1000 to stay home. I could be considered a bit of a protective mother. I check my children each night after they fall asleep, I hide knives and have windows and doors alarmed. I don't let them open the door, or even walk across the street to the Stake Center without me (or Zach) watching. Maybe it is because my children are all medical marvels and I know how blessed I am to have them, or maybe it is because my mom loved her children above all else, but whatever the reason my entire being aches at the thought of them not being with me. Zach has never gone on a scouting trip because I was the cub master for a time and I know just how "well" the boys listen to rules and how "attentive" the leaders can be. I don't let them drive with other people (there are the rare exceptions) and I HATE buses. At least I know where that one comes from. My good friend in elementary school was called out of class to find out that his little sister had tried to catch a paper that flew under the bus and was crushed to death. I am the mom that researches accidents before letting her kids go on a
waterpark ride and makes them play games like
"Worse Case Scenario" just in case they ever find themselves in a sand storm on a camel they'll know what to do. (You hunker down low on the camel and pull the reins to the right, the camel will guide you back to where you came from). Each leader knows of my deep concern and several girls came up to me prior to loading the bus to tell me that they would watch over her. I grilled the leaders about what to do in case of lightening, bears, snakes, and flash flooding. I grilled them on where helicopters can land and how far away from camp that is. I made sure they knew of her heart condition and how mine would break instantly if someone was mean to her. I confirmed the daily bear patrol and fire safety rules.
Bailey is an amazing girl. I know EVERYONE thinks that of their kid but she truly is. She has a strong testimony of the gospel and turns to her Heavenly Father every decision. She has prayed a lot about whether or not she should go and she felt a strong confirmation that it was important and that her mom would be looked after. I was so freaked out about the idea of her being away that I never even tried to get confirmation. I just prayed for safety. Last night I finally took them time to earnestly ask. There was an overwhelming burning in my chest, a confirmation that Girls Camp, while on the surface may appear to be a "fun activity" is truly an inspired program meant to strengthen testimonies and girls as well. I was
intensely grateful for the Temple and the fact that my family has been sealed together FOREVER and that regardless of what happens on this Earth, that I will be with them for eternity. I know that I need to turn my worries over to my Father in Heaven and live my life in such a way to be worthy of that honor. I did still sob on the sidewalk and haven't cried quite so hard since my mom died, but at least after two hours I was able to compose myself enough to utter a "thank you" for the gospel in my life.
Growing up I was very close to my mom's mom. We called her Honey and my grandpa was Papa. I have learned things over the last 15 years or so that make me appreciate my mom so much more for her allowing me to have a relationship with Honey despite the fact that there were some family issues that lurked in the back. My mom knew that I loved Honey and that our relationship was great. I always thought she was the most beautiful woman and she was so much fun to be with. She collected dolls of all kinds and her house was a museum of all sorts of collectibles. She was addicted to QVC and her house, a beautiful home in the historical district of Boise was always bursting at the seems with her newest possesions. Food was not allowed out of the kitchen but for me there was always an exception. She and I would spend hours watching movies, eating junk food and shopping. She didn't drive so our shopping was always with Papa who would sit in the car and patiently wait while we did whatever damage was to be done. He and Honey didn't share a bedroom. I never understood their relationship but it seemed to work for them. Perhaps one of them snored... I know I've considered that option a time or two when I'm laying next to the buzz saw I'm married to. 
This is my mommy. I talk about her all the time. I recently received a gold mine of photos from her youth and this is one of my favorites. I love the dress, I love how proper she's sitting, and I love the chair. It was one of the only ones that she could sit in and have her feet touch the ground.
